Modern day feminism, the do's and don't of male and female rights

[Nicholas Chisom]

Social Development, Male and Female Rights, and the Dos and Don'ts of Modern Feminism

Social development, gender equality, and modern feminism are interconnected issues that influence how people live, work, relate to one another, and contribute to society. Understanding these concepts is important for building a society where both men and women enjoy equal opportunities, respect one another, and fulfil their potential without discrimination.

1. Social Development

Social development is the process through which society improves the well-being, living conditions, opportunities, and quality of life of its members.

It involves creating a society where people have access to education, healthcare, employment, justice, security, and equal opportunities, regardless of their gender, background, religion, or social status.

Key aspects of social development

1. Education: Providing equal access to quality education for boys and girls.


2. Gender equality: Ensuring that men and women have equal rights, opportunities, and protection under the law.


3. Economic empowerment: Giving people opportunities to work, start businesses, and achieve financial independence.


4. Healthcare: Ensuring that everyone has access to appropriate healthcare services.


5. Human rights: Protecting individuals against discrimination, exploitation, abuse, and injustice.


6. Political participation: Encouraging both men and women to participate in leadership, governance, and decision-making.


7. Family and community development: Promoting healthy relationships, responsible parenting, mutual respect, and peaceful coexistence.



How gender equality contributes to social development

When women have access to education and employment, families and communities can benefit economically and socially. Similarly, when men receive emotional support, healthcare, fair treatment, and opportunities to participate in family life, society benefits.

Social development is therefore not about one gender advancing at the expense of the other. It is about creating conditions in which everyone can contribute meaningfully to society.


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2. Male and Female Rights

Men and women are entitled to fundamental human rights. Although their biological differences may create different healthcare needs, those differences do not justify denying either gender dignity, protection, or equal opportunities.

A. Rights of women

Women have the right to:

Education: Access education and pursue academic and professional ambitions.

Employment: Seek jobs, receive fair pay, and advance professionally without gender discrimination.

Personal autonomy: Make informed decisions about their lives, subject to applicable laws and respect for others' rights.

Safety and protection: Live free from domestic violence, sexual harassment, sexual assault, and other forms of abuse.

Property and inheritance: Own property and enjoy applicable legal protections concerning inheritance.

Political participation: Vote, contest elections, and participate in governance.

Equal treatment: Receive fair treatment in the workplace, educational institutions, and public life.

Family life: Participate in decisions concerning marriage, parenting, and family welfare without coercion.


B. Rights of men

Men also have important rights that deserve recognition and protection.

These include:

Freedom from discrimination: Men should not be unfairly disadvantaged because they are male.

Emotional well-being: Men should be able to express emotions and seek mental health support without being ridiculed.

Fair treatment in family matters: Fathers should have their parental responsibilities and legitimate interests considered fairly, with children's welfare remaining paramount.

Protection against abuse: Men can experience domestic violence, sexual abuse, harassment, and exploitation and deserve appropriate protection.

Equal employment opportunities: Men should be judged by their qualifications and performance rather than gender stereotypes.

Reproductive and healthcare rights: Men should have access to appropriate healthcare and accurate reproductive health information.

Freedom to choose their roles: Men should not be forced into particular occupations, lifestyles, or family roles simply because of traditional expectations.

Fair treatment under the law: Allegations, disputes, and legal proceedings should be handled fairly, without prejudging individuals solely on their gender.


C. Are male and female rights supposed to be equal?

Yes, in fundamental human dignity and equality before the law. However, equal rights do not necessarily mean that every situation must be treated identically.

For example:

Women may require pregnancy-related healthcare that men do not need.

Men may face particular social pressures to conceal emotional distress.

Both men and women should be protected against domestic violence, although the prevalence, circumstances, and consequences of abuse may differ.

Policies may sometimes need to address historical disadvantage or specific barriers affecting a particular group.


The objective should be fairness, equal dignity, and effective protection rather than competition over which gender deserves more rights.


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3. Understanding Modern Feminism

Feminism is a movement and a collection of ideas that seek to end gender-based discrimination and promote women's equality, freedom, and opportunities.

Modern feminism addresses issues such as workplace discrimination, sexual harassment, unequal access to leadership, domestic violence, reproductive autonomy, educational opportunities, and harmful gender stereotypes.

However, feminism is not a single ideology. Different feminist perspectives disagree about certain issues, including family roles, economic systems, sexuality, and the best ways to achieve equality.

It is therefore important to distinguish between the central principles of feminism and the personal opinions or behaviours of individuals who identify as feminists.

The main objectives of feminism

1. Equal opportunities

Women should have fair opportunities to receive an education, pursue careers, establish businesses, and participate in leadership.

2. Freedom from gender-based violence

Women should be protected against sexual violence, domestic abuse, forced marriage, and other forms of coercion.

3. Economic independence

Women should have the opportunity to earn an income, own property, manage their finances, and make informed financial decisions.

4. Challenging harmful stereotypes

Women should not be considered naturally incapable of leadership, while men should not be expected to suppress their emotions or perform every traditionally masculine role.

5. Equal participation in decision-making

Women should have opportunities to influence decisions in government, business, education, and their communities.

6. Respect for individual choices

Women should be able to make informed decisions about their careers, relationships, education, and family lives without being unfairly restricted by gender expectations.

An important distinction is that feminism does not inherently oppose men, marriage, motherhood, or traditional family life. Feminist perspectives differ, but gender equality does not require rejecting any of these things.


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4. The Dos of Modern Feminism

Modern feminism is most constructive when it promotes equality, personal responsibility, and respect for everyone.

1. Do promote equal rights and opportunities

Support fair access to education, employment, leadership, healthcare, and legal protection for women and men.

2. Do respect men and women equally

Advocating for women's rights should not require insulting, humiliating, or discriminating against men.

A person can challenge sexism while still recognising the dignity and legitimate concerns of men.

3. Do encourage financial independence

Women should be encouraged to develop professional skills, pursue business opportunities, manage money responsibly, and make informed financial decisions.

Men should also be encouraged to develop financial independence rather than being defined exclusively by their ability to provide for others.

4. Do promote healthy relationships

Modern feminism can encourage relationships based on mutual respect, honesty, trust, consent, and shared responsibility.

Partners should be able to discuss their expectations concerning finances, domestic work, parenting, careers, and personal boundaries.

5. Do challenge harmful traditions

Cultural traditions should be examined when they encourage abuse, forced marriage, discrimination, or the denial of fundamental rights.

However, challenging harmful practices does not mean every cultural or traditional practice is wrong.

6. Do encourage accountability

Equality requires individuals to take responsibility for their actions.

Women and men should both be accountable for dishonesty, abuse, manipulation, neglect, and other harmful behaviours.

7. Do recognise men's challenges

Constructive gender equality discussions should acknowledge issues such as pressure to appear emotionally strong, dangerous working conditions, social expectations surrounding financial provision, and barriers to seeking help after abuse.

Recognising these challenges does not diminish women's experiences.

8. Do support freedom of choice

A woman may choose to become a business executive, a professional, a homemaker, a mother, or a combination of these roles.

Likewise, a man may choose to be a full-time caregiver, a business owner, an employee, or a combination of roles.

The principle is that personal choices should not be dictated solely by gender stereotypes.

9. Do use evidence and constructive dialogue

Gender-related discussions should be guided by reliable information, empathy, and reasoned arguments rather than assumptions about all men or all women.

10. Do promote cooperation between genders

Social development is more effective when men and women work together to address poverty, violence, discrimination, unemployment, and other social problems.


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5. The Don'ts of Modern Feminism

There are important mistakes to avoid when discussing or practising feminism. These are not rules accepted by every feminist; they are principles of respectful and responsible advocacy.

1. Don't confuse equality with superiority

Feminism's central commitment to equality does not justify treating women as inherently superior to men.

Women deserve equal dignity and opportunities, not automatic authority over men.

Similarly, men should not assume that their gender makes them naturally more deserving of leadership or control.

2. Don't promote hatred towards men

Statements such as "all men are useless" or "men are naturally evil" unfairly generalise about an entire gender.

It is reasonable to criticise abusive behaviour, misogyny, or discriminatory institutions. It is not reasonable to assume that every man shares those characteristics.

The same principle applies to statements that portray all women as manipulative, selfish, or incapable of leadership.

3. Don't use feminism to justify irresponsibility

Personal freedom does not remove the responsibility to act honestly, respect others, honour legitimate commitments, and consider the consequences of one's actions.

This applies equally to women and men.

4. Don't confuse independence with the rejection of relationships

A financially independent woman can still desire marriage, companionship, or a relationship in which her partner provides financial support.

A man can also value independence while wanting to provide for his family.

There is no inherent contradiction between personal independence and choosing interdependence in a healthy relationship.

5. Don't shame people for choosing traditional roles

A woman who freely chooses to be a homemaker is not automatically less empowered than a woman who pursues a corporate career.

Likewise, a man who chooses to share domestic responsibilities or become a stay-at-home father should not be considered less masculine.

The important questions are whether the choice is informed, voluntary, safe, and compatible with the person's circumstances.

6. Don't dismiss men's legitimate concerns

Men's experiences of abuse, emotional distress, family disputes, or discrimination should not automatically be dismissed.

Acknowledging men's challenges does not mean denying the barriers women face.

Both issues can be addressed without treating equality as a competition.

7. Don't confuse equal rights with identical responsibilities in every situation

Fairness does not necessarily mean that every person must contribute in exactly the same way.

For example, partners may divide household responsibilities according to their schedules, abilities, preferences, and agreements.

However, those arrangements should not be imposed solely on the assumption that women must do domestic work or men must provide all the money.

8. Don't use gender as an excuse for abuse

No individual should use feminism, masculinity, tradition, financial contribution, or emotional distress to justify violence, coercion, intimidation, or exploitation.

Consent, personal safety, and mutual respect matter in every relationship.

9. Don't assume every disagreement is sexism

Sexism exists and should be challenged. However, not every disagreement between a man and a woman is necessarily caused by gender discrimination.

People can disagree because of personality, values, circumstances, misunderstandings, or incompatible expectations.

Examining the facts helps distinguish discrimination from ordinary conflict.

10. Don't turn gender equality into a battle between men and women

A society in which men and women constantly compete for dominance is unlikely to develop healthy relationships or strong communities.

The goal should be to remove unjust barriers, protect people's rights, and create opportunities for everyone.


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6. Modern Feminism and Relationships: Finding the Balance

One of the most debated areas of modern feminism is its relationship with marriage, dating, financial provision, domestic responsibilities, and family leadership.

These discussions often become controversial because people have different expectations about what men and women should contribute to relationships.

Consider the following examples.

Issue Unhealthy expectation Healthier approach

Financial provision A man must pay for everything because he is a man. Partners agree on financial responsibilities according to their circumstances and preferences.
Domestic work Cooking and cleaning are automatically women's duties. Partners agree on a fair division of household responsibilities.
Leadership One gender must always have the final say. Partners discuss decisions and respect each other's contributions.
Emotional expression Men must never cry or express vulnerability. Both partners can express emotions without humiliation.
Independence Accepting financial support makes a woman weak. Financial support can be part of a voluntary, respectful relationship.
Marriage Marriage is inherently oppressive or compulsory for everyone. Marriage is a personal choice that should be based on informed consent.
Parenting Mothers are naturally responsible for all childcare. Parenting responsibilities are negotiated and shared appropriately.
Disagreements A partner must agree to prove their love. Partners can disagree respectfully and work towards solutions.


Must a man still be a provider in modern society?

Not every relationship needs to follow the same financial arrangement.

Some couples prefer a traditional model in which the man is the primary breadwinner and the woman manages the home. Others share expenses equally, while some arrange their finances according to differences in income, childcare responsibilities, or career opportunities.

A traditional arrangement is not automatically oppressive, and an equal financial arrangement is not automatically fair.

What matters is whether the arrangement is voluntary, mutually understood, financially sustainable, and free from coercion.

For example, if one partner leaves paid employment to raise children, the couple should consider the economic value of that contribution and the financial vulnerability it might create.

Likewise, a partner who earns more should not automatically assume that higher earnings entitle them to control the other person's decisions.

Should a woman submit to a man?

The word submission can mean different things to different people.

Some people understand it through religious or traditional beliefs about family leadership. Others associate it with obedience and unequal power.

In a healthy relationship, neither partner should be expected to surrender their dignity, safety, or fundamental rights.

Couples who prefer traditional leadership arrangements can negotiate them voluntarily. However, agreement to a particular relationship structure does not justify abuse, coercion, or the denial of basic rights.

Mutual respect is more important than winning an argument about which gender should dominate.


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7. Gender Equality in Nigeria

In Nigeria, discussions about feminism and gender rights are particularly important because cultural traditions, economic pressures, religious beliefs, and social expectations influence how men and women are treated.

Several issues deserve attention.

A. Education

Girls should have equal opportunities to complete their education, while boys should also receive the support needed to remain in school.

Poverty, early marriage, insecurity, and social expectations can prevent children from reaching their potential.

B. Economic empowerment

Women should have fair opportunities to obtain employment, secure loans, own businesses, and participate in economic development.

Men who face unemployment or financial hardship also need access to training, employment opportunities, and social support.

C. Marriage and family life

Marriage should be based on free and informed consent.

Both partners should have a voice in decisions involving money, children, healthcare, and family welfare. Harmful practices such as domestic violence and forced marriage should not be excused as cultural traditions.

D. Domestic violence and sexual abuse

Women and men can experience abuse, although the prevalence, circumstances, and risks may differ.

Survivors should be able to seek assistance without being ridiculed, threatened, or automatically disbelieved because of their gender.

E. Leadership and political participation

Women should have fair opportunities to participate in politics and public leadership.

At the same time, leadership positions should be filled through fair processes that consider competence, integrity, accountability, and relevant qualifications.

F. Harmful gender stereotypes

Nigerian society often places expectations on men to provide financially, remain emotionally strong, and avoid appearing vulnerable.

Women may face expectations to prioritise marriage, childbirth, and domestic responsibilities over their own ambitions.

These expectations can place unnecessary pressure on both genders.

Social progress requires allowing individuals to make informed decisions about their lives without unfair discrimination.


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8. The Difference Between Feminism and Misandry

It is important to distinguish feminism from misandry.

Feminism advocates for women's equality and challenges gender-based discrimination.

Misandry refers to prejudice, contempt, or hostility towards men because they are men.

Misogyny refers to hatred of, contempt for, or prejudice against women, often expressed through discriminatory attitudes or practices.

Gender equality means that people should enjoy equal dignity, rights, and opportunities without unjust discrimination based on gender.


A person who insults men, argues that women are inherently superior, or believes men deserve fewer